"Leaving This Pain"

I wish I could get over,
all the things you've said to me.
But no matter how hard I try,
your words never seem to go away.

You never seem to tell the truth,
your lies I want to believe so badly.
Your games are mean and vicious,
and joy from these you get sadly.

My head is full of questions,
and my heart is full of pain.
My mouth is dry with panic,
you're driving me insane.

I vomit up I love you,
almost on demand.
When what I want to say is I hate you,
and everything about you I can't stand.

When I kiss you it's a lie.
When I make love to you it's a sin.
When I hug you it's a crime,
I can't stop this mess I'm in.

When did it all start to unravel?
What got it all tangled up?
I still can't believe you're not the one that I want,
and you're the one that screwed it all up.

Everyday I feel a little better,
and every other fight we have I win.
I'm slowly getting stronger,
and more comfortable in my skin.

You tell me I look happier,
although you can't imagine why.
Because in your head I still need and want you,
and without you I'd shrivel up and die.

But that's where you're wrong,
and so utterly daft and vain.
Because I'm already halfway out the door,
it's about time I left this pain.


Written by Alyssa Danielle Irvine